The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
