Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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