apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
