I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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