I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
