is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
