I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
two words...techno handjob
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
