We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
