Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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