fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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