I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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