it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
