What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
