She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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