the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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