just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
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When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
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Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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