Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
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he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
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I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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