can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You took a bar mat shot.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
