So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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