Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize