i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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