Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
