"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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