Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
