i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
