Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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