careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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