I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize