Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
