I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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