she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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