She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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