One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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