he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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