ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
