i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
