So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
