im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize