If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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