we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
