She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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