Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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