she was so not down for the gang bang
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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