She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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