I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Everclear isn't food dammit
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
