If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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