Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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