I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
