you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
this boner is exhausting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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