God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
