I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
