C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Randomize
