Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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