dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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