all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
