go do what you do best...puke behind churches
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize