Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
