For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize