I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
