you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
