I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
