I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
