OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
