My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize